Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
