We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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