So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
