he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
