yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
