??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
