i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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