I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize