I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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