So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
