Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
