something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
