last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
