Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I need a beard to bite.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
