If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
