all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
