I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have post one night stand depression
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