Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
