are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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