And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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