is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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