Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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