mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
