shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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