You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
