you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
