Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Randomize
