He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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