the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
