dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
