Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize