I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
