everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
