I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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