At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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