My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
