Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I pour the whiskey from now on
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
