after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
