After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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