yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish my penis had a tongue
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
