Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
