Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
