Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
