you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
