Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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