I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize