So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize