Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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