dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
