Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
