dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
