I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
