Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
