That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
