things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
