You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just google imaged poop.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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