At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
