i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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