do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Who died my cat blue again?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
